The End of The Beginning
by JazisCharmed
Summary: Spencer visits Alison's grave after the incident at the church. She and the girls struggle to find their identities separate from Alison. One-Shot. Takes place the day after the season 1 finale.


Spencer silently trudged up the hill in the rain with full intention of seeing Alison's grave despite her mother's orders to try and put Alison to rest for a while. It was the morning after the incident at the church and the whole world was judging her now. Alison included. There's a dull aching in her chest where sadness should be. Spencer knows she should be upset and torn apart by her friend's death but that isn't the case. All she feels is numbness throughout her body. It's not despair or sorrow; it's just a daze.

Although the reality of the situation had long since past the ache never went away. As Spencer reaches the site of Alison's grave, she stands still. The rain reminds her of the fading memory of Alison on the night she disappeared and the distant promises she forced everyone to keep. Spencer laid a single white rose beside the tombstone. She set it down as gently as possible as if Alison were right there judging her actions. Everything about Ali seemed so perfect and everything about the way Spencer laid down that rose made sure this reputation was never soiled.

With all the secrets that have been kept hidden and the ones that are constantly being unraveled, Spencer isn't sure of her future anymore. This wasn't how she pictured spending her junior year in high school. Instead of going to parties and having sleepovers with her best friends, Spencer was fighting for her innocence in this mess. Everything that she had ever hoped for meant nothing anymore. The innocent wishes she had made when she was little and none of them had come true. Alison's existence was slowly fading away and with it is the web of secrets and lies the girls had fought to protect. Nothing's been resolved and all the lies and secrets kept hidden had only made everything worse.

The grim nature of the tombstone tugs at her heart. It was never supposed to be like this. Alison was too devious and clandestine for her own good. Sometimes Spencer wonders if she'll ever be brought justice. She's beginning to think justice is an empty term.

"We miss her too, you know." A voice says. Spencer turns around slowly and finds she is staring at her friends.

"How…" Spencer starts.

"I had a feeling." Aria says as she approaches her friend. Silence fills the air.

"A feeling?" Spencer finally asks.

"The same one you did." Aria replies gently.

"I think it's something… we all felt." Emily asserts.

"It just felt like I needed to see her again… After everything that happened last night." Hanna adds. "This year…"

"It's all too real- isn't it?" Spencer poses. The girls nod. One by one, each of the three girls lays down a white rose next to the one that had already lain there. Each girl laid down the rose with as much care and ease as Spencer had, trying to preserve the reputation Alison had worked hard to keep. A universal feeling of desolation spread among the girls.

"This doesn't feel right, does it?" Spencer whispers, turning away from them and focusing on Alison's gave. "Her death… It feels like everything is ending." Aria takes Spencer's hand in hers. Spencer slowly turns around. "I just don't understand anything anymore. I don't know who I am without her."

"The end of her life doesn't mean that our lives have to end." Aria assures her. "Every little detail about Ali made her the person she was. Her perfection… Her command… We have to define ourselves not by what she made us, but by the things about us that made as connect to her. We have to find our own paths…" Aria offers.

"It's only just beginning." Hanna adds, stepping forward towards her friends.

"More like the beginning of the end." Spencer says, sarcastically.

"Maybe… It's just the end of the beginning?" Emily suggests. The girls turn around to face Emily and ponder this a moment. Alison was significant piece of their lives. Losing her left a feeling of emptiness.

"What comes after the beginning?" Hanna asks.

"The future." Aria answers. "Our future." The four of them gather into a group hug. After the embrace, they walk away leaving Alison's reputation and spirit with the roses they laid on the grave.


End file.
